The following Is a screenshot of some revision work that I had done for one of my Essays.

For this assignment we were instructed to Choose one paragraph from your Konnikova Essay and then to Go through the paragraph sentence by sentence with specificity in mind. Revise and rewrite the paragraph to make it more specific, but also to not lengthen the paragraph too much. Think about word choice, clarity, and using your own voice. My revisions to this paragraph definitely made what I was trying to say more clear and made my ideas have more flow. My revisions also made the paragraph a little longer but not by much. In the paragraph before it feels more like I’m listing things out and in the revised paragraph it sounds more like a conversation. I made it clear that those are the qualities that I am looking for in a friend and I went more into depth about how virtual interactions have affected the younger generations.