Journal #9: EDITORIAL TEAM REACTIONS feedback group #1 (focus on 2 comments)  

In my opinion the two most helpful comments made during this feedback session were #1 Remember your audience mr miller. There were certain sections in my piece that sounded a little too scientific and were a little hard to comprehend for my classmates, for example when I said soft sedimentary rock which basically just means soil. It’s important to keep in mind who will be reading your piece and to make sure the reading is digestible for people of all different backgrounds and to not get too wrapped up in your writing which is easy to do when you care about what you are writing about. The second comment that stood out to me was from Cole and it was to read your piece out loud. I like this comment and think it is important because this is something all of us could benefit from before submitting the final project. Reading your piece out loud allows you to catch simple grammar errors and helps you to realize were the piece could flow better.   

Journal #10: EDITORIAL TEAM REACTIONS feedback group #2(focus on 2 comments) 

In my opinion the two most helpful comments made during this feedback session were #1 remember to break up the large paragraph Mr. Miller suggested the Three sentence rule for shorter paragraphs. The three sentence rule will definitely be beneficial for me when trying to edit my final draft and I’m sure it will also benefit several other students in the class as well.  #2 The second comment that I thought was useful was don’t put yourself or your opinions in the piece, get out of the way and have someone who knows nothing about the topic read the story. It’s easy to get too involved in your piece when it is something you are passionate about and that’s why it’s important to have an outside perspective look it over. Try not to add opinions or details someone wouldn’t understand if they don’t know anything about the topic already.   

Journal #11: EDITORIAL TEAM REACTIONS feedback group #3(focus on 2 comments) 

In my opinion the two most helpful comments made during this feedback session were #1 several people talked about how to make the piece more digestible for readers, especially when it comes to quotes. This is very important because as a journalist it is sometimes hard to decide what information to include and what information to not include. It is important to remember that not everyone is going to be as educated on the topic as you or the people that you are getting quotes from so try to keep that in mind when you are writing and use universal language that most people will understand. #2 the second critique that stood out to me was take the journalist out of the journalism which was a very clever way to put that which also relates to a comment that I made to Finn there were multiple sections where he included the questions of the (who, what, when, where, why) and instead of including those in your piece those are good questions to be asking yourself while drafting the piece and kind of takes you out of the piece therefore removing yourself and your thought process out of the story. 

Journal #12: EDITORIAL TEAM REACTIONS feedback group #4(focus on 2 comments) 

In my opinion the two most helpful comments made during this feedback session were #1 was in response to cole’s piece about accessibility Mr. Miller reminded us to check with your sources before publication. Cole had several quotes from disgruntled RA’s on the topic and Mr. Miller reminded that those students are being paid by the university and might change their minds and not want those things to be on the record. This is good to keep in mind for any interview that you take quotes from to just check with your sources before publication to make sure that is how they want to be represented. I don’t know if this is allowed but the second comment that stands out to me was one that I made. In Sarah and Kristen’s pieces I felt like certain aspects of the  (who, what, when, where, why) were missing. For Sarah’s piece I feel like the story could benefit from the who as in how many workers work for the mail room and who is in charge of hiring and promoting the position. I also felt that her story could benefit from adding some stats like what time the mail room is open and how many packages usually come in a shipment. For Kristens piece I felt that it would be beneficial to add why the boats are so important to the UNE community and what exactly the boats are normally used for. My comment about adding more (who, what, when, where, why, how) also made me reflect on my piece and think about the parts where I need to improve on my piece specifically around the (who, what, when, where, why, how) of the grant.